Just what the world needed! A list of people that are destined for hell (in no particular order of importance, though, the Olsen twins must go first.) That's right folks, we have been authorized to compose this list for important reasons. I can't tell you them cause then I'd have to kill...er..I mean not kill you....Anyway, don't get uproarious if this offends you cause I find it all to be rather hilarious.
Read carefully...this is a masterlist...it's really important *snickers*
The Olsen Twins
Already being spawns of Satan pretty much puts them in first class on the plane to hell. Don't you just hate them?! Their presence has been known to infuriate even the calmest of people.
Those damn people in public changing areas
This was a request from K.C...hehe..wander what happend to him. lol. Anyway, I didn't get much for details so I'll just assume things and say this; It's hard to avert your burning, bleeding eyes when you're too consumed in wretching all over the cement floor in front of you...the hairy man-back mocking you through it's curly tendrils, as if it were reaching out to grab you and demolish all that you hold sacred in this god forsaken world..*ahem* Yeah...
Liv Tyler
Just because your dad is Steven Tyler doesn't make you a good actress..or good at anything for that matter.
Richard Simmons
We all know that he's up to no good, but no one stops him. Those disgustingly fat bitches don't have a chance in hell to become skinny! He deserves to go to hell based soley on the fact that he gets-off on obese, deep fried, gravy pumping women jumping up and down all around him. Actually, that sounds like hell to me...
Hanson
Okay. Most of you already know my stance on this. BUT next to the fact these three boys make millions off of droning, prepubecent love songs, they also have another reason to burn in hell. I investigated the matter further and discovered that they are actually bioengineered cyborgs that are hell-bent on taking over the 11 to 16 age group of girls. After they succeed through "sublibidable" (thanks G.W.B for that correction of the word. And to think, all these years I was wrong..) messages that bore into their skulls, they will be able to turn them all into zombies and invest in a world wide hunt for the perfect brain. Once they find it, they will be able to construct the worst thing the world will ever have to face. A soul-sucking, baby eating, limp wristed, bigscaryrobotthing. That's all I can say at the moment, they know that I know...and now they know that you know what I know...
Nelly
If it isn't one thing, it's something else. I guess I just hate what he represents in the way that everything he does is fucking stupid. But he isn't the only one, not at all, he'll just be the martyr. Nothing bothers me more than overly materialistic, reality deprived, hypocritical, "mans trying to bring us down", self-rightous, subserviant to the all mighty dollar, over-played, whining, crying, bitching, moaning, "ghetto soldier", "smack me, I'm overzealous about my own penis", rappers. Kinda reminds me of a politician..hmmm...
J.K Rowling. The demon who spawned Harry Potter.
Just because you were homeless and can do tons of hullucinigens doesn't make you a good writer. Just tripped out. If I attempted such long novels, I'd surely get locked up. I'm totally convinced that her books contain some kind of mind control.
Bill Gates
Oh!-hohohohohohohohoho! I don't think I even need to say much, if anything on this subject. So I'll quote a zombie.
"Ugh...ugh...brains...argh...ugh...."
I'm in sound mind to think that you have gathered a great deal of life-long knowledge from this proverb-like statement.
Corey Mandel and Warner Brothers Pictures
I put these two together for reasons stemming from one horrible thing they have in common. The movie, written from someone elses novel, Battlefield Earth. A million monkeys, with a million crayons, would be hard-pressed in a million years to create anything as cretinous as this movie. You haven't endured real pain till you've seen this piece of crap.
Britney Spears
Sometimes it seems only right to just come clean. Get that heavy burden out from your concience. Let everyone know that you are a liar. With that said, Britney, take off that damn costume and show us what species of alien you really are! I saw her suck someone up with a tentical once, it wasn't pretty and I would never wish it on anyone...
Mickey Mouse
Cause he's a varmit, and King Cooler hates varmits.
Jesus Christ
Irony makes it all too worth it...Anyway, if he supposedly comes around once a year, how could he not give in to something sinful on the way. EVERYTHING is a sin!
Vegetarians
Eat some fucking meat already! Your silly morals are killing you! I'm sick of listening to these people complain cause they don't feel good. It's because there's more than one food group motherfuckers!
Strom Thurman
Going to hell for being a politician and especially a politician that is out to set the country back about 100 years. Your pre-civil war morals and tactics suck and you need to just speed up and die already! 120 years old is entirely too old to be around making political decisions.
Rave Kids
"Woah man! I'm a glow-stick ninja and shit!" "Will you give me a back rub?! Please!!!" "I can't stop biting my tongue..."
You'd think I was talking about an eight year old girl with identity problems and Downs Syndrome...But no, I'm talking about ravers AKA idiots. They go to hell for being annoying brats with no personality. If eating holes in your brain for the sake of "cuddle puddles" is priority over just interacting with people normally, you need some hell just to wake you up.
Yuppies in SUVs
Give someone a little power and they molest the shit out of it. They believe that they own the road as they push you off of it. They enjoy driving slow. They glare at you and write down your license plate number when you drive past them on the other side of the road, your friend's ass pressed up against the passenger side window. They consider doing five things at one time a good idea. In a nutshell, they suck balls. I'd like to see them actually go offroad sometime...they'd most likely kill the entire third generation of their family that way.
Ugly Mullet Wearing Rednecks
"Hey Cletus! I really like me that table you made in yer front yerd wit that ol' ter (tire) and that piece of partical board from yer roof."
Welcome to Southern Ohio and below. These types of people always seem concerned if I have a ride or not...hmmm....
Cross-dressing, Mullet Wearing Mexican Guy.
*looks away from picture squinting* Sorry about this guys...but I thought everyone needed to see this. She/he is an abomination I decided. There's no way of finding out.
The DBDZ Staff
I think this is pretty self-explainatory. I know for a fact that me, King Cooler, and Matt would all be going to hell if there is one. I'm a heretic. K.C. loves killing things. And Matt...well...Matt has his skeletons but I won't say anything about them here and now just because..."His mystery only excedes his power." lmao! I love that movie...
So that would be it for the moment. I'm sure there will be add-ons.
If you didn't see someone that you think should be on the list please do let me know. I want this list to be as precise as possible.  ~Jillian
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